Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It's a...


No, Baby is still cooking but I slipped in front of Brandon a couple of days ago so it doesn't have to be a secret anymore.

I was on the phone getting health insurance quotes for Baby.  Apparently gender matters for quotes (in hindsight I should have just asked for numbers for both) After carefully telling the guy that Brandon was in the other room and didn't know, so could he please say one or the other and I would answer yes or no; one of the next things out of my mouth was, "If we can't get a child only policy, we do have the option of adding her to Brandon's work policy." (In my head the word her was completely emphasized.) I realized I slipped immediately but hoped maybe Brandon hadn't heard since he was making a lot of noise unloading the dishwasher.  No such luck, I heard him drop the silverware on the counter, then his hurried footsteps and him coming around the corner with a look on his face that said, "Did I just hear what I think I heard?" One look at my horrified face and he knew.

He was very nice to me about it, he teased me a bit and then forgave me, said he knew I didn't do it on purpose.  I was so close!!  I made it 13 weeks keeping quiet and was doing quite a good job despite everyone's best efforts to trick it out of me. I was very determined to let him be surprised at birth, especially since he was kind enough to let me find out at the ultrasound.  Oh well, what is done is done.  Of course everyone else is more than pleased I messed up.

Now that we can tell people, the next question is always "What are you going to name her?" We have no idea, we are suffering a complete block in this area.  Or to borrow a "Brandon-ism," It's a secret, such a secret that we don't even know it. This poor little girl will probably not have a name when she is born.  We have a list of a few names but none of them seem "right." Perhaps when we meet her one of them will or a new name will come to us.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Out of Control

Lately I feel completely restless.  I get irritated with the littlest things. While dusting today I got completely fed up with the cat hair redepositing on every surface after I carefully wiped it clean.  I love my kitty-girls but seriously, their fur is getting on my nerves.  Also they have both been acting up a lot lately.  I keep finding Midna on the counters in the kitchen.  I spray her with the water bottle to get her off only to find her back there minutes later. I have also walked into the kitchen to find Chu just sitting there on the counters when she doesn't normally do that.  They have both alternately been throwing up on our comforter for the last 3 days.

I can't find the motivation to do much of anything lately and I get angry with myself. Things need to be cleaned, stuff needs to be organized, we need to buy a dresser in the next couple of weeks, I want to get caught up on everything now while I am still able to....

ETA:  In the midst of my ramblings, trying to release the overwhelming feelings of frustration, my loving husband came home from work.  I apologized to him in advance, told him I couldn't figure out where the anger was coming from.  I felt like I was going to explode. I haven't felt so out of control in such a long time and the feeling scared me. He told me to lay aside the tasks I had only half completed and said I needed to leave the house and get away for a while. So he suggested we go see if Galveston was still there.  It isn't a long drive and we haven't been down there since the hurricane almost 2 years ago. Even though we didn't stay for long it was a nice distraction walking along the beach.  Our little trip did the trick, getting my mind away from all the negativity and it also had the benefit of wearing me out.  We both slept very well that night.