"...blessings through raindrops...healing comes through tears..trials of life...mercies in disguise...""Yeah, Yeah, another song about how life is hard," I thought, "I don't need another reminder."
I continued driving not really listening until I heard the line,
"We know that pain reminds this heart that this is not our home."Straight to the heart. Now I really listened.
"What if my greatest disappointmentsHuge lump in my throat, tears streaming down my face.
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise"
I can't pretend that life has been easy lately. I can't pretend that I haven't been hurting. I really don't understand it at times. I don't know what to do with it so I try to ignore it, push it away, hope it just disappears. After all, I have so much to be thankful for. People might look at my life and think I have everything, there is no reason for the pain. But nevertheless, it's deep and excruciating, drowning me, keeping me down.
Those words reminded me of a truth that was revealed to my heart (not just knowing it in my mind) over a year ago, having a baby was not going to "fix" the pain, it was not an answer to the deeper issues that lay beneath.
It also reminded me the reason I feel restless at times, the reason I don't feel completely comfortable in this life is because this world is not my home. The further in my walk with Christ I come, the more uncomfortable I become; with the ways of this world, with my own ways.
I like the motive behind the songs. You grow up hearing the word, "blessing" used all the time. And eventually it starts to sound a little hollow when you are walking through trials. You hear how this person and that is "so blessed" because God gave them _____. And yet you don't get _____ so what, you aren't blessed? But maybe the blessing is found more along the journey. Maybe it's found in really trusting that God is doing something through all the pain. Shaping something so beautiful from something seemingly so ugly. It's so hard to feel that, to understand it in your heart, not just your head, when you are in the midst of it.
Conclusion: I have far to go. Life IS hard, Life IS painful at times. But God is doing something with it and through it. I have to hold onto that when I am desperately treading water, He won't let me drown.
Blessings by Laura Story
Laura shares her heart behind the song