All is quiet where I sit, a moment in time when I have nothing pressing to do, a time I can just breathe and relax for a bit. A precious baby is sleeping in her bed next to me, breath coming heavily due to her stuffy nose. Even though she's been stuffy for the last couple of days, it hasn't dampened her sunny spirit. I can't put in words how much I enjoy being near her when she sleeps. Seeing that beautiful little face so at peace, her damp, crazy hair going all directions, little balled up fists flung out at her sides, legs pulled up, bottom up in the air. Beauty only God could make.
This is a moment I sometimes feared I would miss. And yet it is a moment I could never comprehend before. Something so simple yet indescribably beautiful. I don't know if it is because we had a longer wait, that I have been missing Sarah so much lately. I don't know if it's because I spent years questioning (even in the midst of infertility) whether I even wanted to have children. But I do know that God put us together. He knew that I needed Madeline in my life as much as she needs me. I feel like she is teaching me so many more things then I am teaching her. Teaching me to slow down, to savor the day, enjoy the little things, recognize the small victories, and to really smile once again.